Being a public-minded family

Our baby, from a very young age, was brought around with us to public events. Often he was happy to see many different people, but there were also times he was tired because we stayed out late. Sometimes I need to work so I have my best friend watch him. Is this right, as his mom?

Yes, I do have "mom guilt" oftentimes. But Nathan and I decided, even before we had children, that we would be a family that lives for God, and therefore lives for the greater good. We want to teach our kids, from very early on, that that is our family tradition. Though it sometimes takes sacrifice, this is the value we want to uphold for the sake of bringing joy to God and to others. When we do this sincerely, we find that we, too, experience the greatest joy.

-Maruko Breland

What is your purpose?

If you are not able to clearly articulate your purpose for doing something and having something, I would warn that it is likely that you will eventually lose whatever it is or your endeavor will be stopped. We only truly value things and activities that we find real purpose in, and if we cannot even articulate what that purpose is, in the end we will lose it. 

What is the purpose of your life? What is the purpose of your family? What is the purpose of your work?

I think it is a healthy exercise to always ask ourselves these questions.

What is my purpose for owning a KLR650 motorcycle? 

Well, it makes me smile for one thing - but the deeper reason is because it trains me to be more courageous and improves my concentration.

Prayer in times of struggle

I'm an emotional person by nature. This can be both good and bad, I've seen. I can experience happiness and gratitude deeply, but also get upset by things relatively easily. I've recently been thinking, what can I do to overcome the battles that occur within myself when I get upset? One major way: through prayer.

Recently my friends and I stayed at an Airbnb together for a few days. Initially I thought, "Wow, this is going to be great!" But although I love these people, living with them was challenging. It's not that they did anything wrong - in fact, they are amazing housemates. But all of us come from different homes with different ways of doing things, so I didn't always see eye-to-eye with all of them, or sometimes I was frustrated that I couldn't do things "my way", the way I usually do in my own home. 

After one incident on the final night, I got quite upset. It wasn't only that incident, but all the other ones started flooding back into my mind. I was on the verge of anger. 

But I knew I didn't want to end the trip like this. I knew I was just being immature, and that I had to let those negative feelings go. So I decided to pray. 

Why pray? Because God has the biggest perspective. I was upset because I was caught up in my own thoughts and feelings. I had a hard time thinking about the other people in the house. As I was contemplating how I could get over it, I remembered something another friend said to me recently: Prayer can help you get to a place of humility and gratitude. 

And although I had to muster up the willingness to be more mature about the situation, once I did, I started to pray, and it truly did bring me to a better place. It brought me the humility to try seeing from others' perspective and accept that it was my problem, not theirs. And it brought me gratitude for them and this opportunity to be with them.

God has such deep love for everyone. During moments when we have a hard time thinking of others, prayer is one of the best things we can do so we can grow to resemble His character more and more. 

-Maruko Breland

What do you believe in?

In this interview of Jordan Peterson by Dennis Prager,  Peterson makes a very interesting statement of how he responds to the question, 'do you believe in God?' Peterson's response is, 'I try to act as if God exists'.

Although he clearly does have a belief in God as shown through his stance on many issues, he explains that he refrains from stating so blankly because to believe in something means not just that you state it but that you act it out fully, which is an incredible task to accomplish given our human condition.

He notes that in actuality we have no idea how immensely noble and virtuous we could be if we did in fact fully believe in God, which points me to an important question: Why don't we believe in God or any moral philosophy fully and how can we increase our level of belief?

There are many answers to that question but one I would like to start with is that we first need to understand the fundamental truths on which our beliefs are based. The term "blind faith" has a negative connotation and for good reason, because if you believe something or say you believe something without understanding the fundamental basis for that belief, it means you are not being fully responsible for your belief and are probably just keeping the belief because it makes you feel good to have it.

Having the humility and self-honesty to admit when you don't fully understand something at least puts one on the trajectory to deeper and fuller understanding which can in turn lead to a much stronger belief than someone who pretends they fully believe in something when in fact they don't even understand what such a belief is based on.

What is a healthy dose of challenge?

When training people to become proficient or excellent in a given field, it is natural to question how rigorous or challenging the training process should be. On the one hand, we can recognize that if the training poses no challenge at all to the trainee, it is unlikely that the trainee will be able to improve in his ability. However, if the training is extremely challenging it can seem overwhelming or even dangerous.

I have found that a big factor in determining what amount of challenge is healthy is the perspective of the trainee. Without a level of commitment to learning and growing, the trainee can easily dismiss any amount of challenge as being too much. However, if the trainee is really serious about growing and advancing, even a seemingly overwhelming challenge can be taken as a valuable learning experience. 

This is why utilizing peer influence in group training programs can be effective, because if the bar is set high in terms of demonstrating individuals that excel through very rigorous training, it can naturally help the others in the group recognize that what seems to be an insurmountable challenge is actually a precious learning opportunity.

The family as God's most prized institution

Today in a call with my parents and younger brother we discussed about the importance of the family as God's most prized institution. We shared how sometimes it's easy to lose sight of this simple truth of what God values the most, especially when we get caught in the weeds of organized religion and what somehow becomes a narrow understanding of truth.

However the simple truth that God wants to see ideal families established that embody his true love and create a peaceful world is something that is universally evident and should not be forgotten. Thus even if I may not always agree with my family members on every issue, I understand that to God, it is more important to invest in building those relationships rather than letting the petty disagreements get in the way, even if those disagreements are seemingly important matters to a particular religious institution.

Lessons gleaned from movies

I love watching movies, but not only for recreational purposes. After watching, I reflect about the deeper messages that the story conveyed. I'm inspired to see that even in movies, produced for entertainment, universal principles and values often shine and touch the hearts of many.

One of my favorite movie series is the "Kung Fu Panda" trilogy. To be honest, I had low expectations when my friends and I decided to watch the first one. But when the end credits started rolling, I thought, "Wow, I'm impressed." The second one was even better, and surprisingly, the third topped them all, and as we all know, that isn't easy to do.

In my perspective, these movies are all about 2 major themes: identity, and destiny. And it is emphasized in the stories about this odd panda that the greatest destiny is one lived for the greater good.

I'll talk particularly about the third movie. If you haven't seen it but plan to, here's a big spoiler alert! If you stop reading here, then I will leave you with a recommendation to watch these movies.

In one of the final scenes of the movie, Master Oogway and Po meet in the spirit realm. They have the following conversation:

Oogway: You finally became the panda you were always meant to be.

Po: But, how'd you know I could?

Oogway: On the first day we met, I saw the future of kung fu, and the past. I saw the panda who could unite them both. That is why I chose you, Po.

Throughout the entire series, Po seems inadequate to become the legendary "Dragon Warrior". Many viewers probably thought that Oogway made a mistake in the very beginning when he chose Po. But Oogway never doubted. Why? Because he saw Po not only as an individual, but as a product of the past, and with the potential for the future. Oogway had experience with the power of chi that the past generation of pandas wielded. He knew Po, as a descendant, came on that foundation, and therefore had the potential to become great.

I believe God sees us this way, too. I believe this is how He guides His providence. None of us are solely individuals - we come on the foundation of our past, standing on the merits of our ancestors. God has led humanity to become better and better through each generation. And as the movie suggests, only through knowing who we are and where we come from can we fulfill our ultimate destiny to better the world for those to come.

-Maruko Breland

The responsibility of leadership

Someone who claims the role of a leader is carrying a heavy burden, if they are fulfilling their responsibility. That is because, to lead others, one has to show the example for others to follow by making more sacrifices and demonstrating greater dedication to a cause. No one will be inspired by a leader that is not making any more effort than everyone else. I guess that is why, in the end, leadership is earned rather than given.