Am I Being Judged?

My friends and I have been talking recently about the topic of judgment. 

We sometimes feel judged by the people around us, sometimes even by the people closest to us - our parents, our mentors, our friends and peers, and even God. It can be painful, and often makes us put limitations on ourselves. What should we do about this? And how can we make sure we don't judge others wrongly?

I remember a discussion I was having with a group of people once. We were all sharing about how sometimes we feel judged. We took time sympathizing with each other. But then one young lady asked us all a question: "But wait, are people really judging you?" The rest of us were quiet. She continued, "For a long time, I thought my parents were judging me. But then one day, I realized they're actually not. It's what I perceived, what I made up in my own head." 

I'll never forget what she said, because it gave me an entirely new perspective on judgment. Oftentimes, we feel judged, but are we willing to see if that's really true? Are we being judged, or are we actually judging the other person? 

After that, I realized another point, too. Even if people are in fact judging us, it doesn't really matter. I can't control what the other person thinks. What I can control is myself, how I think, and how I treat others, including that person. If I choose to treat them with respect and love, maybe that judgment will disappear.

-Maruko Breland